Funny jokes tagalog

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27++ Pinoy Jokes Memes Funny Quotes Tagalog

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1 jul 2018 explore alyanamanahan20s board filipino humor on pinterest. Discover ideas about tagalog quotes funny. Pinoy filipino tagalog funny quotes jokes memes lines photos hugot patama.

On vegetables and camaraderie. 15m ratings 277k ratings see thats what the app is perfect for. Undeniably filipinos by nature are fond of jokes.

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Discover and share patama quotes para sa kaaway. Tagalog jokes best funny tagalog jokes the best funny tagalog jokes pinoy jokes juan jokes tagalog joke time pinoy joke quotes tagalog as in puntastic talaga. Even in the midst of misery many filipino people can still manage to throw a joke about the situation or take a dose of good vibes from the amusing lines.

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Sours: https://factorymeme.blogspot.com/2020/12/27-pinoy-jokes-memes-funny-quotes.html

Tagalog is one of the most twisted languages that we know of. The language has been originated in the Philippines and it has said to be influenced by Chinese, Spanish, English, Sanskrit, and Tamil. As we said, twisted! People love this language and more and more wanna learn this language as well. Although it’s not going to be that easy. If you are currently learning this language, you already know what we are talking about.

Let’s just get to the point. We are here to help you out. Apart from your regular learning course, you would have to practice as well. Because the more you practice, the better you learn. Like we said earlier, we are here to help. Since you are here, we can assume that you have been looking for some Tagalog questions which would help you to learn better.

So here we have a list of Tagalog questions that you might wanna take a look at. Try to answer these questions and keep your practice up.

tagalog questions

Also Check- Fast talk questions / best questions meme

Tagalog Jokes Questions And Answers

Question: Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Inggles ng toyo?

Answer: Baliw! XD

Q: Bakit maswerte ang kalendaryo?

A: Dahil marami siyang date.

Q: Bakit malungkot ang kalendaryo?

A: Kasi bilang na ang araw niya.

Q: Anong puno ang hindi pwedeng akyatin?

A: eh di yung nakatumba!

Q: Ano ang similarity ang UTOT at TULA?

A: Pareho silang nagmula sa POET.

Q: Ano ang pwede mong gawin sa GABI na hindi mo pwedeng gawin sa UMAGA?

A: eh di MAGPUYAT.

Q: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng Biology at Sociology?

A: ‘Pag ang sanggol kamukha ng tatay Biology yun, Pag kamukha naman ng kapitbahay ninyo ang sanggol, sociology yun.

Q: May tatlong lalake ang tumalon sa tubig, ilan ang nabasa ang buhok?

A: eh di..,,wala kalbo silang lahat eh..,,ngeekkkk..!!!

Tagalog Jokes

Q: Ano ang maraming sakay jeepney o ambulansya?

A: Syempre ang ambulansya! Kasi, ang jeepney ay 10-10 lang ang bawat side; samantalang sa ambulansya, madalas na 50-50 ang sakay.

Q: Bakit gising magdamag ang mga bampira?

A: Kasi nag-aaral sila para sa kanilang blood test!

Q: Ano ang makukuha mo sa baboy na magaling mag karate?

A: Eh di PORK CHOP!

Funny Tagalog Joke Questions

Q: Bakit kailangang lagyan ng gulong ang rocking chair ni lola?

A: Para makapag-rock and roll siya!

Q: Ano ang binibigay ng doctor sa ibon na may sakit?

A: Eh di TWEETMENT!

Q: Ano ang mas nakakadiri sa uod na nakita mo sa iyong prutas?

A; Eh di yung kalahating uod nalang! pwe! pwe!pwe!

Q: Ano ang tawag ng batang langgam sa sister ng mother niya?

A: Eh di ANTY!

Q: Anong bagay ang nagsisimula sa T at nagtatapos sa T at may T rin sa loob?

A: eh di TEAPOT!

Q: Ano ang pinakatamad na letter sa English alphabet?

A: Letter E, kasi laging nasa BED eh!

Q: Ano ang mangyayari kapag nahulog mo ang isang pulang sumbrero sa asul na dagat?

A: Eh di mababasa yung sumbrero!

Q: Paano mo hahatiin sa dalawa ang dagat?

A: Gagamit ng SEASAW!

Q: Saan nagpapagupit ang mga tupa?

A: Eh di baa-baa shop!

Tagalog Joke Questions And Answers

Q: Ano ang pinakamataas na building sa buong mundo?

A: Eh di yung library, kasi maraming STORIES doon!

Q: Anong room ang walang ding-ding at pinto?

A: Eh di MUSHROOM!

Q; Ano ang gamot sa mga sugat ng balat ng baboy?

A: Eh di OINKMENT!

Q: Bakit madaling timbangin ang mga isda?

A: Kasi may sarili silang SCALES!

Q; Ano ang paboritong palaman sa tinapay ng astronaut?

A: Eh di LAUNCHEON meat!

Q: Ano ang tawag sa kotse ni Jollibee?

A: Eh di BEE-M-W!

Q: Ano ang karaniwang sakit ng mga martial arts champion?

A: Eh di KUNG FLU!

Q: Saan nagdedeposito ang mga bampira?

A: Eh di BLOOD BANK!

Q: Ano ang kinakain ng mga pusa tuwing umaga?

A: Eh di MICE KRISPIES!

Q: Saan iniiwan ng mga aso ang kotse nila?

A: Eh di BARKING LOT!

Q: Anong gulay ang marunong maglaro ng billiards?

A; Eh di CUE-CUMBER!

Q: Anong TV show ang pinapanood ng mga bibi?

A; Eh di DUCKUMENTARIES!

Q: Ano ang favorite sport ni Dracula?

A: Eh di BAT-MINTON!

Q: Anong ring ang pa-kwadrado?

A: Eh di BOXING RING!

Q: Sino ang misis ni NOah?

A: Eh di JOAN OF ARC!

Q: Anong key ang nakakabukas ng saging?

A; Eh di MONKEY!

Q: Ano ang paboritong palaman ng MMDA?

A: Eh di TRAFFIC JAM!

Comedy Jokes Tagalog

Teacher: Class iagine niyo na kayo ay Milyunaryo, isulat niyo sa papel ang inyong mga activities.

Students: Yes Ma’am…

Teacher: Juan bakit hindi ka pa nagsusulat?

Juan: Ma’am inaantay ko pa po ang secretary ko.

Stewardess: Do you want a drink, sir?

Sir: What are my choices?

Stewardess: Yes or No.

Jokes Tagalog

Meet-Up: Nakita ng lalake na may tinga yung babae…

Lalake: Hulaan ko malunggay yung ulam mo nung tanghalian noh?

Babae: Hahaha. Sorry pero mali ka. Kagabi pa yung tinolang may malunggay, piniritong manok ulam ko kanina.

Teacher: Juan! Your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy this?!

Juan: No mam.. It’s the same dog.

Jun-Jun: Inay! Ako lang ang nakasagot sa tanong ng titser namin kanina!

Inay: Very good! Ano ba ang tanong ng titser ninyo?

Jun-Jun: “Sino ang walang assignment?”

– Jokes tagalog

best Jokes Tagalog

Employee: Boss pwede ba ako nalang ang papalit dun sa pwesto ng manager natin na kamamatay lang?

Boss: Ok lang sa akin na ikaw ang pumalit sa kanya, ewan ko lang kung papayag ang punerarya.

Titser:Class, what is ETHICS?

Pilo:Etiks are smaller than ducks.

Titser: Okey, that duck will lay an egg in your card.

Misis: Bakit ngayon ka lang?

Mister: Pasensha na, nagyaya mga officemates ko, nagkainuman lang. Hehe! Hik,

Misis: Lasing ka no?

Mister: Ako, lashing? Hindi! Hik

Misis: Anong hindi?! La ka namang trabaho, pano ka nagka-officemates?

Misis: Love, malapit na tayong maging tatlo dito sa bahay.

Mister: Talaga love? Magiging daddy na ako?

Misis: Hindi love, dito na titira nanay ko.

Jokes Tagalog

Tagalog Jokes

Toto: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!

Juvy: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?

Toto: Hindi! ‘Yan din ang pangarap niya!

BF: Babe laro kami mamaya basketball ha? Saglit lang kami uwi agad ako.

GF: Ano oras ka uuwi?

BF: Saktong 5pm babe.

GF: Ah good. Sang lugar un?

BF: Lapit lang sa work namin babe.

GF: Ahh ok. Sino sino kayo?

BF: Kami parin mga tropa babe. Nagkayayaan kasi eh. Dyan lang sa court ng school.

GF: Ah lapit lang pala e.

BF: Oo babe.  Laro ako ha?

GF: HINDI.

Reporter: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na po ang next step ninyo?

Police: DNA na…

Reporter: Sir, ano po yung DNA?

Police: “Di Namin Alam”

Tagalog Jokes

Misis: Walang hiya ka. Meron akong nabalitaan! May kabit ka palang 18 years old.

Mister: Sus! Huli ka na sa balita! 23 na sya ngayon.

Good News: Nakuha kang model ng sabon.

Bad News: Ikaw yung germs!

Man1: Away kami ni misis, nag-Historical siya

Man2: Pare baka ang ibig mo sabihin ay nag-Hysterical

Man1: Hinde, historical kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko!”

Tagalog Best Jokes

Tagalog Jokes To Make Her Laugh

Question: Heto na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka.

Answer: Operadang bakla? XD

Question: Sino ang sikat na bayani ang nasa Php500 bill? Ang initials niya as “N.A”?.

Answer: Nora Aunor? XD

Question: Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol ng tao?

Answer: Itlog ng tao! XD

Question: Anong parte ng itlog ang masarap?

Answer: Yung tangkay? XD

Question: Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain.

Answer: [email protected]! XD

Question: Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?

Answer: Buhok? XD

Question: Kung ang H2O ay water, ano naman ang CO2?

Answer: Cold water! XD

Question: Ano ang karaniwang kasunod ng kidlat?

Answer: Sunog! XD

Question: Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao?

Answer: Humanitarian? XD

Question: Ano ang tawag mo sa anak ng taong grasa?

Answer: Baby oil? XD

Question: Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?

Answer: Sa motel? XD

Question: Saan karaniwang ginagawa ang mga sweets na ginagamit sa halu-halo?

Answer: Sweetserland? XXD

Question: Sinong cartoon charcater ang sumisigaw ng yabba dabba doo?

Answer: Si scooby dooby doo? XD

Knock knock Jokes Tagalog

Knock knock

Whos there?

Chandelier

Chandelier who

Kahit chandelier pag-ibig mo sana’y maramdam man lang (kahit sandali)

Knock knock

Whos there?

Chandelier

Chandelier who?

Chandelier na lang maari bang pagbigyan. (Torete intro)

Knock knock

Whos there?

Mayon

Mayon who

When tomorrow comes I’ll be on MAYON

Knock knock Jokes Tagalog

Knock knock

Whos there?

Pillow talk (zayn malik)

Pillow talk who?

Ako ay may lobo lumipad sa langit di ko na nakit PILLOW TALK na pala.

Knock knock

Whos there?

Dog cat binaliktad kinurot pa bernadette jansport

Blablabla who?

Whatchu gonna do with that dessert? Dog cat binaliktad kinurot pa bernadette bernadette jansport jansport

Knock knock Jokes Tagalog

Knock knock

Whos there?

Cabalen

Cabalen who

Cabalen bilinan ng lola wag uminom ng serbesa

Knock knock

Whos there?

Matulungin

Matulungin who?

Matulungin when you nod your head yes but you wanna say no

Knock knock

Whos there

Maling

Maling who

Start twerking like maling

Knock knock Jokes Tagalog

Knock knock

Whos there

Meatloaf

Meatloaf who

Sa yong ngiti akoy nahuhu MALING

Knock knock

Whos there?

UST

UST who?

UST call me on my cellphone late night when you need my love

Knock knock

Whos there?

Amalayer

Amalayer who?

But darling AMALAYER dressed like a daydream

Knock knock

Whos there?

This guy’s in love with you pare

If ever your in my arms again, this guy’s in love with you pare

Knock knock

Whos there?

My thoughts

My  thoughts who?

My thoughts.. my knees.. my shoulder.. my head.

Knock knock

Whos there?

Angono

Angono who?

Angono swing from the chandelieeeeeer

Knock knock

Whos there?

Silver swan

Silver swan who

My mama dont like you, she likes silver swan

Knock knock

Whos there?

Nanay ni wally

Nanay ni wally who?

Nanay ni wally na ko sa forever.

Knock knock

Whos there?

Nae nae

Nae nae who

nae nae tatay gusto ko tinapay ate kuya gusto ko kape

Knock knock

Whos there?

Bwisit to!

Bwisit to! Who

Bwisit to! Late now to say sorry

Knock knock

Whos there?

Yemen

Yemen who

What do yemen when you nod your head yes but you wanna say no

Knock knock

Whos there?

Winnie the Pooh

winnie the pooh who?

Bang bang winnie the pooh i know you want it

Knock knock

Whos there?

Gangbang who

Gangbang into the room i know you want it lol SPG

Knock knock

Whos there?

ginabi sa road

Ginabi sa road who?

why you ginabi sa road? Dont you know im human too.

Knock knock

Whos there?

pekpek

Pekpek who

You look so pekpek standing there in my american apparel underwear hhahaha mukhang pekpek ampota

Knock knock

Whos there?

Mayonnaise

Mayonnaise who?

My toes, mayonnaise, my shoulder, my head hahahaha okey

Knock knock

Whos there?

Napakakati

Napakakati who?

Napakakati kuya eddie ang sinapit ng aking buhay. Lolszz

Knock knock

Whos there?

lyca

Lyca who?

Lyca virgin touched for the very first time hihihi

Knock knock

Whos there?

Neighbor

Neighbor who?

Neighbor mind i,ll find someone like youuu

Knock knock

Whos there?

rude

Rude who

Ruuuude, patawad pagkat akoy makasalanan makasalanang nilalang

Knock knock

Whos there?

Na h

Nacho who?

Nacho! Gwapito raw ako

Knock knock

Whos there

DOTA 2

DOTA 2 who?

Can I have your DOTA 2 the rest of my life. Say yes, say yes cause I need to know.

Knock knock

Whos there?

Ke$ha

Ke$ha who?

La-Ke$ha layaw, la-Ke$ha layaw jeproks

Knock knock

Who’s there?

jollibee

jollibee who

why you jollibee so rude? Dont you know im human too

Knock knock

Whos there?

shes dating a gangster

Shes dating a gangster who?

shes dating a gangster thats under my bed. get along with the voices inside of my head

Knock knock

Whos there

Tokneneng

Tokneneng who?

Tokneneng to me tururuttuturururut

Knock knock

who’s there?

lampara

lampara who?

Kaibigan LAMPARA… Kaibigan LAMPARA..

Knock knock

who’s there?

Youjizz

Youjizz who?

Now Youjizz somebody that I used to know.

Knock knock

who’s there?

Nawindang

nawindang who?

It’s nawindang, I’m yelling timbeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.

Knock knock

who’s there?

Samsung

Samsung who?

Samsung mga daliri kamay at paa LOL

Logic Questions Tagalog Jokes

Basag

“You are good looking!”

It’s good to answer with,

“Thank you, SANA IKAW DIN!”

Tama ba?

Foodcourt

Girl1: nag-dinner kami ng bf ko kagabi, grabe! na-impressed ako! Ang  laki ng resto at ang dami pang choices.

Girl2: talaga?! Ano pangalan ng resto?

Girl1: Foodcourt!

Baliw

Baliw: Hello, check ko lang po kung may tao pa sa room 206?

Nurse: Ah, wala na po kaninang hapon pa. Bakit po?

Baliw: Uhm… wala naman, chinicheck ko lang yung nakatakas talaga  ako….

Sam and Piolo

Piolo: i just need 5 things in my life…some friends..  some food..  some work..  some love.. and Some  Milby..hehe ü

Sabi nmn ni Sam: i just need 5 things in life too..few work.. few friends.. few food.. few love.. and few-lo pascual!!  wahaha!

Funny Tagalog Jokes

3 Basis of Choosing a Girlfriend:

1.) MABAIT

*Hindi nagagalit kapag nanananTsing ka

2.) MAHIYAIN

*Hindi tumatanggap ng regalo.

3.) ISIP BATA

Kung anu-ano sinusubo

Erap Jokes

JUDGE:Ano ba talaga nangyari?

ERAP: ???(di nagsasalita)

JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.

ERAP:Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to? Bakit may speaking?

Kandong

Dahil sa hirap ng buhay,

Pasahero: Mamang tsuper, may bayad po ba kapag bata?

Driver: Wala

pasahero: Kapag kandong?

Driver: wala din

Pasahero: ok anak umupo kana kakandong ako.

Doktor

ANAK: Itay, masama ang pakiramdam ko.

ITAY: Aba, mataas ang lagnat mo! Patitingnan kita sa doktor.

ANAK: Itay, nakatatamad. Kung titingnan lang niya ako; ipadala nyo na lang ang litrato ko.

Funny Tagalog Jokes

Erap: Magkano ba yan?

Tindera: 100 pesos lang

Erap: Aba mura, sige bibili ako para sa computer ko.

Tindera: Bakit para sa computer nyo?

Erap: Bakit may windows din naman yon ah!

Calculator

Anak: tay, anu poh yung elevator?

Tatay: anak, yung elevetor, kahon yun na tumataas at bumababa sa isang  building

Anak: Ah! eh yung escalator tay?

Tatay: anak, yung escalator, yan yung slant na galaw na hagdan….

Anak: ah! eh yung calculator?

Tatay: ewan ko anak, di pa ako nakasakay niyan..

(Usapan ng dalawang bata)

Juan: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo ba yung Pacific Ocean? siya ang humukay nun!

Pedro: Wala ‘yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo yung Dead Sea?

Juan: Oo…

pedro: Siya ang pumatay nun!

Victim

Judge: Miss ilang beses ka ba ni-rape nitong akusado?

Rape Victim:Tatlong beses po!

Rapist: Sinungaling, Dalawang beses lang.

Rape Victim: Bakit, di ba Counted yung nasa Ibabaw ako?

(Nasa elevator ka with your crush)

Eh that time sinisipon ka

suddenly!

Napautot crush mo

Natawa ka! Lumobo sipon mo

Sino mas nakakahiya? Ikaw o siya?

Pinoy Jokes

Anong bansa ang walang pangit?   UGANDA

Anong bansa ang di sikat?  LAOS

Anong bansa ang madulas?  GREECE

Anong bansa ang hindi sa iyo?  KENYA

Anong bansa ang nakagapos?  ITALY

Anong bansa ang maraming bacteria?  GERM-ANY

Anong bansa ang nagmamadali?   RUSSIA

Learn Japanese:

1)  Is this your underwear?  Jakimoto

2)  Speechless?  Wasabi

3)  What are your thoughts?  kuro-kuro mo

4)  Are you regular customer?  Sukikaba

Wife:  Gusto kong magpadagdag ng boobs…….

Husband:  Ha….. di ba masagwa yon, magiging tatlo.

Mga lasa ng gatas ng babae:

Dalagita:   Fresh milk

Dalaga:Pasteurized

Bagong kasal:  Skimmed

Matagal ng kasal: Yogurt

Matandang dalaga:  Taho

Lola:  Tokwa

Nag-aaway ang dalawang tanga:

Kulas:  Ano ba ang gusto mo?  away o gulo

Tomas:  Away na lang para walang gulo.

Tomas:  Ano ang ingles ang “Maswerte akong lalaki?”

Susan:  Lucky Me with Egg.

Tomas: Eh, iyong “matronang babae?”

Susan:  Payless instant mommy.

I had a dream about you. Nasa heaven daw tayo with a cute angel,

my angel was ugly, tampo ‘ko. I ask St. Peter why cute angel mo. he replied,

” Balance of Nature”.

A husband coming home from a confession, suddenly he lifted his

wife and carried her.

Wife: Why did the priest tell you to be romantic like this?

Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross!

If only I’m an angel, I’ll protect you, I’ll lend you my wings. I’ll

watch over you but I’m not an angel………… pero may hawig naman……..,’DI

BA ?!?

With this message I would like to thank you for being such a nice

friend to me…. I really appreciate your goodness and truthfulness, especially

when you confirmed my…. CUTENESS !.

Teacher : Use DOES and AMONG in the sentence.

Peter : AMONG the birds, only parrot DOES talk.

Teacher : Very good. Ikaw John.

John : When the cow

DOESmag na AMONG ang lubi.

A girl with her friends

went to a bar.

When she read the sign

saying : BELOW 18 NOT ALLOWED

The girl said : “nge” !!!

uli na lang ta oy…. 10 ra man ta

kabuok…

American and a Filipino

conversation.

American: Is that an apple

you are eating?

Filipino: Yes.

American: You know,

in States, only poor people eat an

apple.

Filipino: Oh, is that true?

Is that a banana you are

eating?

American: Yes.

Filipino: You know, in

Philippines, only monkeys eat

banana.

Beauty Pageant:

Judge: What if you find

that your boyfriend has AIDS, what

will you do and why?

Contestant: I’ll still love

him..

(everybody claps)

“coz, AIDS doesn’t matter!,

thank you”.

A Chinese lady can’t

speak English. At the grocery, she

wanted to buy pork leg, she showed

her legs. Next day, she needed

chicken breast, she showed her

breast. On the third day, she brought

along her husband because she

wanted sausage. What did she do?

Oh, dirty-minded!

Her husband can speak

English!!!.

Teacher: Arnold, what

do you call a person who keeps on

talking even when people are no

longer interested??

Arnold: A teacher!!!

Wonder girls may say,

“I want nobody, nobody

but you..”

Then, the boys will reply,

“I want your body, your

body not YOU!!!”

True bravery is to arrive

home..

fully drunk from late night

out and mom waiting with a broom

in hand, then you asked:

“Hey mom, still cleaning?”

Woman with a baby on a

bus..

Driver: what an ugly baby!

The mother was hurt, she

went to another seat.

The man next to her

asked, “What’s wrong?”

Woman: The driver just

insulted me.

Man: He should give you

respect! Go get his name and I.D.

number. I’ll hold your MONKEY

for you! (LOL)

Tagalog Jokes Kids

Teacher: Write a sentence ending with HAND.

Juan: My penis in ur hand!

Teacher slapped juan…

Juan: Sorry I forgot to put space between pen and is…^_^

Titser: Ano ang Pambansang Hayop ng Pilipinas? Nagsisimula ito sa letrang “K”!

Juan: Kabayo?

Titser: Mali! Nagtatapos ito sa letrang “W”!

Juan: Kabayow?

Titser: Mali! May 2 sungay ito!

Juan: demonyong kabayow? Hahahah

Teacher: Juan, ba’t lagi mong nilalawayan ang ulo mo tuwing may klase tayo?

Juan: Narinig ko po kasi, sabi ni ate sa boyfriend niya, basain ng laway ang ulo ‘pag ayaw pumasok.

Mayabang si Pedro

Teacher: Ito na ang resulta ng exam nyo. Si Boy Banat lang nakakuha ng 97%.

Pedro: Ano ha?! Kaya nyo yon?! Wala pang aral yon! Sinasayang nyo lang tuition nyo! Umuwi na kayo mga bubu!!

Teacher: The rest, nakakuha ng 100% !!  hahahahaha

sa isang Math class..

Teacher: Pedro, kung ako’y may 5 anak sa unang asawa, 10 naman sa pangalawa, at 3 sa pangatlo; meron akong?

Pedro: Kalandian! Isa kang karengkeng Ma’am.

Teacher asks her pupils what they want to be in the future…

Kiko: I want to be a lawyer

Juan: I want to be a doctor

Nene: I want to be a mother

Pedro: I want to help Nene

Guro: Pedro, Totoo bang hindi naninigarilyo, di umiinom. di nagsusugal at di  nangchichicks ang papa mo?

Pedrol: Opo!

Pedro: Wow! Anong sikreto nya?

Pedro: walang pera

Teacher: who can make a sentence then translate it in tagalog?

Pupil: my titser is beautiful, isn’t she?

Teacher:: very good, translate it in tagalog.

Pupil: ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba?

HRM at NURSING Student nag-uusap:

HRM:Penge nga alcohol!!

NURSE:La akong alcohol eh.. sori

HRM:Naturingan kang nursing student, la kang alcohol!

NURSE:Cge nga.pengeng kaldero at sandok!Now n!May dala kb?!

“The prefix “BI” is used to describe things that come in two’s like BIcycle, BIfocal,

and BInary.

Can you give me an example Juan?”

JUAN: (lunok) “Ma’am.. B*YAG?”

Pinoy Jokes Lines

Q: Ano ang sabi ng isda nang hiwain siya sa gitna?

A: eh di I’m tuna (two na).

Q: Ano ang sabi ng bangus nang mamamatay na siya?

A: eh di I’m daing! (Dying)

Q: Anong isda ang di nababasa?

A: eh di Tuyo!!

Q: Anong isda ang pinaka matanda?

A: eh di Century Tuna!!

Q: San nagtatrabaho ang mga isda?!!

A: eh di ofFISH!! (office)

Q: Anong isda ang nakakasulat?!!!

A: eh di laFISH!! (lapis)

Q: Anong subject ang paborito ng mga fish?

A: eh di FISHical Education (Physical Education)

Q: Ano ang tawag sa doctor ng mga fish?

A: eh di FISHician (Physician)

Q: Anong Isda ang bumabaril?

A: eh di BANGus!!!

Q: Bakit maalat ang dagat?

A: Para hindi mapanis ang mga isda..

Q: Anong isda ang mahilig mangbola?

A: eh di Fish ball

Q: Anong fish ang di makapal?

A: eh di ManiFISH

Q: Anong isda ang nakalutang sa tubig?

A: eh di patay na isda.

Q: Saang subject, palaging bumabagsak ang mga isda?

A: eh di FISHsics (Physics)

Q: Anong fish ang may lahing insecto?

A: eh di i-FISH (Ipis)

Q: Anong buwan ang fiesta ng mga fish?

A: eh di May 1, kasi FISH-tang Dagat.

Q: Sinong fish ang pumapalit pag wala ang Boss?

A: eh di Ang o-FISH-er in charge

Q: Saang bansa ang paboritong pasyalan ng mga fish?

A: eh di FIN-land

Q: Bakit pumupunta ang mga fish sa pari?

A: eh di Para magkum-FISH-al

Q: Anong tawag sa fish na peke?

A: eh di Arti-FISH-al

Tagalog Jokes Logic

What is the one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth? What is it?

Ans.

The Word “And”

What letter comes next: O T T F F S S ?

Ans.

The letter E

What common English verb becomes its own past tence by rearranging its letters?

Ans.

Eat

If you have a cube, each edge two inches long, how many total square inches are there among all eight sides?

Ans.

Hard to say, since cubes have six sides.

Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is.

Ans.

Language

It occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in an hour.

Ans.

The letter M

Is it correct to say “the yolk of eggs is white” or “the yolk of eggs are white”?

Ans.

Neither, the yolk of eggs are yellow.

Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?

Ans.

No, because he’s dead

If a rooster lays an egg on the exact peak of a barn, which side does it fall?

Ans.

Roosters don’t lay eggs.

There’s a variation that goes as follows: A man, his wife, and their son are in a car accident. They are all rushed to the hospital and the doctor says, “I can’t operate on him, he’s my son.”

Ans.

The doctor is the man’s father and the boy’s grandfather.

A cowboy rides into town on Friday. He stays three days, then rides out of town on Friday. How?

Ans.

The horse’s name was Friday

When is a door not a door?

Ans.

When it’s ajar

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Ans.

To get to the other side

Potato jokes tagalog

Pedro: Mam ano tawag sa puting gulay ? Guro: Ano ? Pedro: Putito po mam. Eh ung mas maputi sa putito ? Guro: Ano naman yan ? Pedro: Mash Putito! Guro: Shut up! Pedro: Eh mam ung mga boss ng mga putito Guro: SIT DOWN! Pedro: Last na mam .. Guro: ANO ? Pedro: PUTITO CHIEFS!

Patient: Doc tulungan niyo po ako kasi naiisip ko po I’m a king Doc: Talaga anong pangalan mo!!! Patient: JOE po bakit doc? Doc: Ha!!? You’re must be JOEking.

Inday: Mam, lahat pu pala ng nakalibing ditu.. Ginahasa.. Amo: Pano mo naman nalaman Inday? Inday: Tegnan nyu pu ung Lapeda.. Nakasulat.. RIP

Anak: Dad im fifteen na pwede na ba ako mag BRA? Dad: Di pwede! Anak: But dad all of my friends wear bra na!!! Dad: Tigilan mo nga ako RENATO!!! Baka pisain ko itlog mo!

. . . ?? bahay Condo kahit munti ? ang gadgets doon ay sari sari ? flat screen na TV, blu-ray DVD, ipod, Ipad, Iphone ?? Laptop na malaki, Laptop na maliit, at saka meron pa portable MP3 ??Digicam,Videocam, Wi-Fi at HD, ?? sa paligid ligid ay puno ng . . . Chargeeeerrrrrr ??

Lasing1: Oi pare, ang gwapo mo! Lasing2: Pare ikaw din.! At malakas na halakhak ang lumabas sa bibig ng 2 lasing BwaHaHaHa…. Lasing1: Ang birthday ko, October 15 1984, ikaw pare kailan birthday mo? Lasing2: Aba! October 15 din ako, at 1984 din ‘yong birth year ko! Lasing 1 at 2: BwaHaHAHa! Lasing2: Pare, nagtapos ako ng high school sa Manila High. Ikaw pare? Lasing1: Ha? Akalain mong don din ako nagtapos! Eh ang name ng tatay ko ay Rudy at ang ang nanay ko si Maria. wag mong sabihin na ‘yon din name ng parents mo? Lasing2: Pare, ‘yon din pangalan nila! Ang apelyido ko Pascual, sa ‘yo Lasing1: Pascual din pare, pareho tayo! BwaHaHaHa! (*Narinig sila ng bartenter at binulungan nya ang katabi nya*) Bartenter: Tol’, ‘yong kambal na Pascual lasing na naman.

Tatay : Anak! anu tong F sa card mo ha! Anak : (*nag-iisip*) Tatay… Fasado po ibig sabihin nyan. . . . . . . . . Tatay : Ahh… kala ko Ferpect!

Bata 1: Ano ang kaibahan ng potato at mashed potato?

Bata 2: Itong panyo ko, PUTI TO. Itong damit ko, MAS PUTI TO!-

One liner jokes tagalog

Sa restaurant alalang alala ang mga waiter dahil sa dami ng mga tao subalit sa isang restaurant may mayabang na tao at lumapit sa waiter at sinabing:

Mayabang: hoy waiter bakit tagal ng order ko?

(Nagalit ang waiter)

Waiter: mag aantay po kayo dahil mga waiter kami.

Si Bakla ay pumasok sa parlor shop

Parlor artists: good morning Ma’am! sir pala mag papahupit ho kayo

Bakla: hindi!! mag papa haba ako ng bohuk halika dikitan mo nang dumami at humaba.

Pumunta si Bakla ulit sa may seaoil

Mang gasoline:magpapagasoline ho!! kayo

Bakla: hindi yo yosi ako para sasabog tayo

Ano ang nakakagulat na pagkain?

Timothy:Ano?

Luis:Edi.sabaw tska kanin

Guro:Bkt

Luis:kasi SOUP RICE (sabaw tska kanin)

Knock knock jokes

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Tank.

Tank who?

You’re welcome.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

I smell mop.

I smell mop who?

Ew.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

I eat mop.

I eat mop who?

That’s revolting.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ya.

Ya who?

Yahoo! I’m just as psyched to see you!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Voodoo.

Voodoo who?

Voodoo you think you are, asking me so many questions?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cow says.

Cow says who?

No, a cow says mooooo!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

A little old lady.

A little old lady who?

All this time, I had no idea you could yodel.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No I’m not!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Etch.

Etch who?

Bless you, friend.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Robin.

Robin who?

Robin you, now hand over the cash.

Funny knock knock jokes

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Razor.

Razor who?

Razor hands, this is a stick up!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive you. Do you love me too?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Alec.

Alec who?

Alec-tricity. Ain’t that a shocker?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Howl.

Howl who?

Howl you know unless you open the door?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Iran.

Iran who?

Iran all the way here. Let me in already!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Says.

Says who?

Says me, that’s who.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snow use askin’ when you can just open.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Some.

Some who?

Some day you’ll recognize me, hopefully.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Candice.

Candice who?

Candice door open, or what?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Boo.

Boo who?

No need to cry, it’s only a joke.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Stopwatch.

Stopwatch who?

Stopwatch you’re doing and pay attention!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

It’s to whom.

Knock knock.

Who’s There?

Dewey.

Dewey who?

Dewey have to use a condom every time?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Honey bee.

Honey bee who?

Honey bee a dear and open up, would you?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Mikey.

Mikey who?

Mikey doesn’t work so help me out, would you?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Dwayne.

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub already. I’m drowning!

Conclusion –

So these are the Tagalog Questions that you were looking for. We have put a lot of effort into and picked the best Tagalog Questions for you. We hope that you loved these Tagalog questions.

Answer these questions yourself or ask them to your friends who claim to know Tagalog, either way, these questions are pretty helpful. We hope that you have found everything you have been looking for and found our article helpful. Thank you for visiting our page and we hope you will come again for more such content in the future as well.

Category: questionsBy Shyami GoyalLeave a comment

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Pinoy Jokes: 20+ Funny Jokes That Will Surely Make You Laugh Hard

20+ Funny Pinoy Jokes That Will Surely Make You Laugh Hard

PINOY JOKES – Here is a list of 20+ funny Pinoy Jokes that will surely make you and your loved ones laugh hard.

Undeniably, Filipinos by nature are fond of jokes. Even in the midst of misery, many Filipino people can still manage to throw a joke about the situation or take a dose of good vibes from the amusing lines.

There is nothing wrong with it. Anything that makes you feel good or lighter without having to offend another person is permissible. Happiness can be passed on and the more people who feel light on the inside, the happier the world can be.

Filipino People Laughing

Photo Courtesy of hamsternice.blogspot.com

Once in a while, you can check out on the jokes posted here for a good dose of positive vibes. These will surely make you laugh hard:

1. Pare: Ang galing ng nabili kong hearing aid. Hi tech at ang lakas ng dating!
Kumpare: Magkano ang bili mo?
Pare: Oo, kanina lang
(Courtesy of Katig.com)

2. “Napanaginipan kita kagabi. Nakaupo sa tabi ng ilog, nag-iisa at mukhang mabigat ang loob. Lalapitan sana kita at yayakapin. Pero bigla kang tumayo…
at naghugas ng puwet.”
(Courtesy of kathangpinoy.blogspot.com)

3. Prospective Employer: So why did you leave your previous job?
Applicant: The company relocated and they did not tell me where!
(Courtesy of boybanat.com)

4. Pinay: Hon, anung gift mo sa akin sa silver anniversary natin?
Asawa: Dadalhin kita sa China.
Pinay: Wow, ang sweet naman. E, sa golden anniversary natin?
Asawa: Susunduin na kita.
(Courtesy of Katig.com)

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Tagged as:Best Pinoy Jokes, Filipino Jokes, jokes, Pinoy Jokes

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Pinoy Pick Up Lines & Funny Jokes


Latest updates

What's new in version 4.0.0
  • More Pick Up Lines and Funny Jokes!!!

Product Details

Release Date: 2015

Date first listed on Amazon: July 07, 2015

Developed By: J-ton10

ASIN: B0113NIL9E

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Product features

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Product description

THE BEST PINOY PICK UP LINES AND JOKES.

Up to 200+ of jokes and Pick Up Lines to read from. Read, laugh and enjoy this one of a kind entertainment. Different Categories to chose from: Funny English Pick Up Lines, Funny Tagalog Pick Up Lines, English Jokes and Tagalog Jokes. Filipino and others will enjoy this fun experience. Download and use it on your friends, girlfriend/boyfriend or that special someone and share a laugh


Technical details

Size: 4.5MB

Version: 4.0.0

Developed By: J-ton10

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  • Access coarse (e.g., Cell-ID, Wi-Fi) location
  • Access fine (e.g., GPS) location
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Jokes tagalog funny

As I saw him, I decided this one. After weighing all the pros and cons, and doing a lot of things and estimating (yes, I masturbated to him and cool by the way, okay, it's not. Interesting) further. Lord, how I was tortured to breed him, but all the same, after observing others who wanted to find him a weak spot, I just had to be gentle.

And submissive with him, perhaps, in general, not to cringe like they usually do in front of boys.

Batman jokes complete series

You can go crazy: he confessed stunned: This is a trakhodrom: This is what Tanyukha gave: - How she sucked: the girl stretched out admiringly, but after. The surprised look of her brother immediately corrected herself: -: Well, that is, she did a blowjob: Upper class: And you what rolled in the most.

she asked interestedly, still staring at his boxers.

Similar news:

She took the head with her teeth, and easily shaking her head, she portrayed a tiger cub trying to bite off a piece of meat, giving me a slight. But very pleasant pain. When the tips of the nails touched the sacs of the testicles and tickled them, I experienced heavenly pleasure. Then she took my friend into her mouth completely, and at first smoothly, then faster, began, without opening her lips and.



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