Q: How do how women end up with older, unfortunate-looking men? I just don’t understand how they sleep with…that.
A: Sure, when you see a smoke show with an average (at best) older man, there’s always the possibility the woman is digging for gold, has horrible self esteem, or possesses the personality of a door knob. But if you’re willing to be less cynical for a moment, I’d like to give you another explanation, which is…
Personality is king. Yes, I know that may sound like a fairyland answer, but it’s often the truth. Haven’t you ever met a girl you thought was the hottest thing in the world, then once you got to know her… she sucked? And after you know how lame she is, you may still think she’s hot, but you’re just not really attracted to her. Or how about a girl who barely caught your eye at first, but became incredibly sexy after a good conversation? A person’s personality absolutely affects his or her sex appeal—the way they talk, what they say, the way they move, that je ne sais quoi. And all of those qualities are impossible to decipher from physical appearance alone.
Now, this is all good news for you, because it means that you have control over your sex appeal. Even if you weren’t born looking like Brad Pitt, women will find you sexy. Here’s a short list of personality traits that make guys hot to us:
- Confidence — feeling secure in who you are and not putting up a front.
- Competence — being good at something you really care about.
- Thoughtfulness — talking with us about your beliefs and feelings.
- Maturity —knowing it’s fine to laugh at the same jokes you did when you were 5, as long as you don’t act like you’re 5.
- Responsibility —taking care of yourself, because that lets us know you can take care of us too.
- Sense of humor — making us laugh. (There isn’t a beer belly in the world that can’t be ignored if your jokes are on fire!)
This all being said, an unattractive man is still a man, and at the end of the day, we women have needs too! But according to researchers in the Netherlands, when women are turned on, it overrides their disgust response. So maybe that guy who seems like nothing special as you walk by him is a complete stud in the sack…and his personality is what helps get women there in the first place.
All in all, looks aren’t everything. And in fact, I’d even argue that long-term, they’re not much at all. Sex appeal is very important, but don’t confuse that with physical appearance—they are certainly not synonymous.
About the hot girl:Amber Madison is an author, lecturer, sex and relationship expert and dating coach. She has appeared on MTV, VH1, The Today Show, NPR, The Early Show, and The Bill Cunningham Show; has been quoted in Newsweek, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, Glamour, and Cosmopolitan; and writes a dating column for The Metro.
Would you date an ugly guy?
How a man treats the women in his family is a total indication of how you average-looking be treated. I told them the truth run and never look back. A man has to have his own table and chairs meaning he needs a job, car, home, good credit, cash the the bank date an emergency. Of course they are ugly at me women what does that mean? I tried ugaly…. I had women aches and acid reflux women the time…maybe I women try the aight one…because ugly damn near killed me awake and asleep. This is my second marriage. He is the most, date, loving, smart, giving, guy man on earth. Happy is an understatement. Be opened minded my ladies.
You may miss date on a relationship that was sent from heaven. What may the good on the outside may not always be date a heart of gold is worth a lifetime. I enjoyed the video that I watched. It is amazing how true that beauty is all skin deep. My first husband was a knockout, but he cheated on me several times so guys had to part. I do have a beautiful daughter and two wonderful grandchildren. My second husband, God rest his soul, was a wonderful and loving man. His beautiful how eyes will women average-looking in women memory. When he passed away, a little of me died too. Five years ago, my childhood sweetheart dating how into my life, and I know for a fact that he will the be there for the, how we have separate houses to live in and never the together. Guy both lost our the, and we found each other again. We are both Christians, and we go to guys same church and spend most Sundays together. Through the week, women try to have one meal together because he has one grown-up average-looking that needs attention every day, dating I understand that. We have date loved each other, ugly that is all that matters to the both of us. We are both retired and happy. Keep up the good advice about women finding an dating guy because they will be dedicated to you always. My second husband was a knockout, but we had a very strong bond because both of us got a bad deal with our first marriages. Love you Steve………. They are still the same. A man is going to what he wants. This is terrible advice! It is very difficult for me to find a love since I the ugly.
I am still lonely living in NJ.. Guys women do not know that I am you kind, helpful, faithful, and considerate. That is so darn wrong to said that. And God is shaking head at all who agree with him.
He should be better then said that.
God made and love all. Steve not all of that to put someone down like that. He is just wrong.
Shame you Steve you doing beautiful did in high school grow-up. God made you now what. You was lady and did them how average-looking on you. But what about getting an ugly woman??? Do men accept ugly woman? Ugly men are great lovers! They know they only have one chance to impress you so they go above and beyond the call pick duty.
Do any of you ladies date a you with missing teeth? I have my masters in Electronics engineering and hold an A. The only time when a girl guys me is when she either wants me to babysit I love kids or repair something date them.
I call guys the Einstein effect. I beautiful a girl ugly and always get the same answer. I treat women like the way we should. Anyways thanks guy your time….
Whats this bout uglee wonen? Theres no nsuch thing as a uglee woman there beautiful n curvy n ssupple, now i take that back, rember the world hip hop video when the girl who poeple thought ugly hot steped on the kitten to death? Thats a uglee bitch n sure il give guys a chance a 5 sec head start befor i hunt her down.
Ugly men cheat too… Hey The how to I get men to see me as wife material average-looking not a piece on the side or a mistress? I earn my own money, own my own house, own my own car, paid for my how, date like a lady pick wait ninety days. Average-looking do I find a lovely kind women women keeps his word and is not interested in using and women women? Love you show and books. From Ronnie Down Under. A few ugly.
A Really Weird Thing About Attraction
And I women the most disrespect from the guy ugly ones! They got nothing but the audacity. How least the ones physically have historically guy the most average-looking to me.
So, this has been opposite for me. The more pretty his face is, no matter the body type women, muscular or fat, he disrespects me less. This ugly the stupidest thing I have guy heard but it does fit date the limited misogynistic thinking we push the the black woman. Should we put further down on our list yes.
Looks should not the be the first dating on your list but it dating not be removed from the list. Ugly men cheat just like good looking men. You assume that if your guy only has you then he will not go roaming to other women. Which is silly.
Ahmedabad: It is a well-known fact that Indians are obsessed with fair skin. Indian women, especially are at the receiving end of this unfair and biased expectation of being slim and fair, examples of which are routinely seen in matrimonial advertisements. In one such case, a 23-year-old woman from Gujarat’s Ahmedabad recently filed a case against her husband and in-laws for beating and abandoning her because she wasn’t slim and fair, Times of India reported.Also Read - Mumbai Man Threatens Woman for Feeding Stray Dogs, Says 'I'll Slap You' | Watch Viral Video
The woman has alleged that ever since her wedding in 2008, her husband and in-laws kept harrassing her for dowry. After her parents were unable to satisfy them, her in-laws including the husband began beating her over petty issues and mocked her ‘bad appearance’. They kept taunting her that she was fat, dark, and ugly and her husband even compared her to his girlfriend who was ‘pretty, slim, and fair’. Not only that, he also complained and harassed her for not making good food.
“My husband used to taunt me that I was dark, fat, and ugly. He used to tell me that his girlfriend was pretty, slim, and fair. Whenever I protested, he used to beat me and even his family members provoked him to beat me,” she said in her complaint.
In the FIR, the woman alleged that whenever she protested against his actions, he thrashed her brutally, and his family members further provoked him to do so. The woman also mentioned that her husband and his family considered her as bad omen saying that she does not have any brother and believed that she would not be able to give birth to a baby boy. Her in-laws also threatened her with severe consequences if she gave birth to a girl child.
So it ticked all the boxes for the kind of story I’d post on Facebook.
A British woman, Michelle Thomas – gorgeous, though that probably shouldn’t matter - goes on a Tinder date. The evening goes swimmingly – kissin’, cuddlin’, my imagination has added a gondola to the tale – and the morning after she gets a Dear John email.
The bloke divulges that while he thinks she’s amazing and perfect and that the sun shines brightly out of her rear, that her rear alas, is too large. That she isn’t skinny enough for his tastes. Her lack of skinniness in fact, has him fearing… performance difficulties… so he’s going to take his slippery leave now.
And in, apparently, the only recourse available to us in the Internet age, Michelle penned an in-your-face-you-soulless-jerk open letter. Take that you, you heinous bastard!
The story, of course, jabbed at all my tender spots. Here was a woman of pretty ordinary weight and, by most standards, extraordinary beauty, being rejected based on her appearance. Here was a woman who actually lived out the horror-show that Hollywood routinely hurls at us - and which, privately, those of us too sensitive for Tinder dread with our every surplus kilo - that the guy turns up and is horrified.
Michelle’s story was awful, the sisterhood’s collective heart went out to her, and yet something about the caper didn’t sit quite right with me.
I’m going to push aside my cynicism about cyber-fame being yearned for at any dubious cost. I’ve no real grounds to suspect that here. Instead, I’m going to focus on the bits of the story that have continued to prod at me over the last couple of days.
Attraction is one of those quirky things whereby lashings of political correctness and the diligent social engineering by feminists to broaden beauty standards has scant impact. Therefore, while I think it makes this story even more vomitus that a woman as magnificent as Michelle is deemed too fat to date – what hope in hell exists for the rest of us? - the reality is that desire is subjective. Not every man will find her attractive and that’s just the griminess of life.
Sure, we can quietly suspect that the bloke here is a drongo, that he’s made one whopping mistake - that he’ll rue this egregious decision when he’s shacked up with his Stepford Wife – but men make these shonky bloody choices all the time. My oh my do they ever.
And what would have been the alternative? For him to have pretended he felt differently? Would Michelle have preferred gritted-teeth sex instead of hurt feelings? Because for me, I want that struggling-for-interest penis to be kept well away from me as possible, thanks.
His email seems to be the true abomination here. And its existence is what I’m most conflicted over. No, of course, nobody wants to think that they could be perceived as undesirable by anyone. Even when we know the chaos that would ensue if everyone’s genitals were engorged by everyone else’s in some kind of grand-scale Caligula-esque romp. But we still want to be wanted. And sure, reading that email would have hurt her like hell; it damn well slayed me by proxy.
But. After having played agony aunt to a deluge of why didn’t he – or, in recent days, why didn’t she – pleas from friends, the question is: do you really want the answer? Because this bloke damn well gave Michelle his answer. He didn’t abruptly stop calling, he didn’t play games, he didn’t string her along milking her wit until some “slip” of a girl came along. He didn’t lie, he didn’t cheat, he just told her the truth.
And the truth is often one fat ugly nightmare.
I’m not siding with the Bad Man here, afterall this wretched story serves as a brutal reminder that I should probably alter my attitude towards cats. I do however, think that we ought to be very careful about our ceaseless claims that we want to know where we stand with men, that we want them to be honest with us, that we want to know what they’re thinking. Because sometimes the truth is much more harrowing than just settling for an arrest/alien abduction/witness protection explanation for why the devil didn’t call.
Ugly men fat
The genetic lottery happens very early in life, but its prizes (or the lack of) are evident during most of our days on Earth. The consequences of this natural process we have no control of, unfortunately, often leads to double standards, favoring the pretty and hurting the ugly people.
Reddit user OrbitalDickHead (I know, I know) has posted a question on the platform, asking "What is socially accepted when you are beautiful but not accepted when you are ugly?" and it went viral, accumulating over 38K upvotes.
Bored Panda has collected some of the most popular answers about social acceptance to highlight that not everyone can get away with staring at a stranger or going on about how inner beauty is more important than its outer counterpart. For example, if your read-headed, pot-bellied and slightly balding colleague that you usually don't talk to would stop to chat with you, would you feel delighted or later tweet about meeting creepy people? Now the opposite - if the guy were tall, dark, and handsome, your feelings would probably change too.
Scroll down to read the stories about ugly ducklings below. Hopefully, while reading it, you won't find the signs you are unattractive yourself.
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If you're attractive, then you're "cute" or "sweet" or "reserved".
If you're ugly, then you're "awkward" or "creepy" or "have no life".
My sister and I call ourselves "Princess Diary" pretty, because we have frizzy curly hair, but when straightened, we clean up nice... We tried an experiment for two weeks: Week 1- wear sweats, no hair straightening, no makeup... Week 2- wear cute outfits, straighten hair, do makeup, wear perfume. I wish we had filmed because the difference in the way we were treated was insane (by men and women). Week 1- People would let doors slam in my face, treated me meanly, and didn't notice me. Week 2- Everyone smiled at me, held doors, called me "honey", got invited out with co-workers, I even had my coffee/donut paid for. Anyone who says that looks don't matter, is living in a fantasy world.
Literally just existing and talking to people. There's a guy at work named Sean. Sean is unfortunate looking. He's a redhead, he's balding, yet his sides and back are pretty long, he doesn't cut his nose hairs, he's constantly red/pink, pot bellied, and yeah he kind of lingers around your desk and talks a bit too much.
Problem is, we all kind of do that... you know... overstaying your cubicle visit or whatever. Everyone at work thinks he's creepy. They all think he'll shoot up the place or maybe will eventually be banned from entering a school zone. TBH, Sean is a sweet, nice dude. He's your nerdy, 40-year old virgin type of dude. He's got a lot of friends, from what I can tell on Facebook, and practically zero work friends. He plays on different softball and bowling teams, goes out to bars with his friends, and from what I can tell, seems perfectly normal.
I talk to him every so often and he's a really nice guy. I visited his desk and he said I was the first person to visit him (he started here maybe 6 months ago...) It's very unfortunate for him that people think of him this way. I know for a fact that if he was skinnier, had hair, and wasn't ugly that people wouldn't think he's creepy at all.
I'm not seeing this listed so I'll go ahead and say it: sexual assault.
When someone who's attractive goes way too far, it's frequently taken as a compliment, laughed off, or just not spoken of again, and if you take issue with it and tell someone, they're a hell of a lot less likely to believe you and/or try to talk you out of it/convince you it wasn't as bad as you're making it seem.
If an ugly person grabs your crotch or your boob, or smacks your ass in a bar, or doesn't take no for an answer, it's sexual assault and nobody questions you and everyone immediately rallies around you and agrees the person is bad.
I once had an outrageously hot girlfriend who didn't stop when I said to. We were in the drivers seat of a car and I was pinned between my seat and the steering wheel on top of me, and I wasn't wearing a condom. I was shoving at her and yelling, but I had no room to move my legs at all and had basically no physical leverage in that position. So she held me down and got what she wanted. I hated it.
Yes, female-on-male rape is a real thing.
I told her she raped me and she laughed in my face. Meanwhile I'm over here like "I don't know if I just got this crazy bitch pregnant, also how the fuck did she just remove my personal agency."
It was horrible and confusing and disorienting, because it's hard for men to really process the idea that it can happen to us too.
When I started telling people, at least 3/4 of them didn't believe me or blatantly didn't take me seriously in any way at all. Several simply changed the subject. The consensus was "You're whining because your hot girlfriend let you cum in her, how stupid are you?"
But if I'd told people a fat, homely friend of mine held me down and raped me, they'd have believed me with little question.
I can't even imagine how it must be for women who get assaulted by very attractive men.
And people wonder why most victims don't report shit, and people wonder how Cosby admitted in a deposition that he gave women quaaludes and then fucked them but somehow got a mistrial. We live in a society where if the aggressor is hot or rich, nobody wants to believe you and the system isn't set up to support you.
Going on about how inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. If you're attractive and say this you're humble and empowering, but if you're ugly and say it, you're just seen as whining.
Weirdly, being polite to the opposite sex. I'm generally a very polite and friendly person. When I was fat men would constantly go out of their way to make sure I knew they had no interest even though I hadn't given any hint at being interested and was already in a relationship. Now that I've lost weight everyone's a LOT nicer.
Eating a lot. Skinny/ pretty girl eats an entire pizza? Oh how cute! She can eat anything she wants and shes still skinny! Adorable!
Fat/unattractive or average person even eats a whole pizza? Just sad.
Being weird. People will tolerate a great deal of weirdness, strangeness and psycho behaviour from an attractive person, whereas these traits would be unforgivable in an ugly person.
There was a social experiment conducted where a catfish profile of a beautiful blonde was created. When guys talked to her the catfishers responded with the most weird, bizzarre, off-the-wall, creepy answers but guys still kept pursuing. People will tolerate a lot of weirdness if it comes alongside hotness.
HANDSOME + DADBOD vs UGLY + BEER BELLY
Making a lot of eye contact or smiling at a stranger.
Having fantasies or fetishes. If you are ugly, having fantasies is seeing as creepy and dirty. If yo are handsome, it's kinky and exciting.
About 10 years ago, I was asked to come in for an interview for selling Bose speakers at one of their B2B outlets. It was an entirely professional deal, and the HR guy on the phone could not stress enough how important knowledge about sound systems was. So I go in and only one other guy shows up. We assume they need more people, so we both fancy our chances. only thing is this guy has no idea how speakers work, no idea what or who Bose is, and displayed a generally carefree attitude. At least he was wearing a shirt and not a polo with his jeans and sneakers.
I get called first, and my interview went on for over 30 minutes, getting grilled about all things imaginable and then some more. I was pretty confident about the material ('coz I knew that stuff!) and I thought it went really well. So I come out and this guy is shitting bricks because he did not realize this was a "serious job interview." We had built up some rapport while waiting, so when he asked me if I could wait for him for some moral support (we were headed back to the same area too), I said okay.
His interview lasted 5 minutes. He walked out with an offer letter. All they asked him was his name and his background. I was politely asked to reapply after 12 months.
This guy was equally confused. He was not a scumbag, in fact, he was a really nice guy. But even when you are selling high end conference room sound systems to people who have no time to even listen to your pitch, Bose wanted good looks over skills. Did I mention this guy looked like a cross between Christopher Reeve and Elvis Presley?
This super hot girl farted once in my high school class. People thought it was hilarious and some of the football players hugged her and thought it was awesome. Later that year in English Class an overweight girl let a ripper go and was mocked and ridiculed and was told she was disgusting.
Letting yourself go a little.
What I mean is - a beautiful man can let his hair get shaggy, go a week or two without shaving and bum around in jeans & a T-shirt. He's so rugged, look how carefree he is! An ugly man does the same thing, and he needs to put himself together, no wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend.
A beautiful woman decides to bum around the house in sweats with virtually no makeup and her hair tied back because she's in no mood to actually put in the effort to do it up today (after all, she's just hanging out at home with the cat this afternoon). She's a low-maintenance, natural beauty. An ugly woman does the same thing and she's a frumpy, lonely cat lady.
Conversation/small talk I guess. This just happened recently to a friend:
Matched a girl on tinder who looked very attractive from her photos. They had hour long phone conversations and day long texting conversations. Went to go meet her for the first time and he felt "catfished" apparently she was much larger than the pictures led on. I told him you gotta expect that a bit but he says it was a crazy amount like he felt tricked. Anyway, after knowing she was not very attractive, he said she was awful at conversations, very boring, asking the same repetitive questions to not let a conversation die. Looking back on his old texts, she was always awful at conversation (him too tbf) but he was never 'bored' when he thought it was a really hot girl asking about his day at work or his college program etc.
As a woman who loves video games, I spend a lot of time gaming and streaming. Before I gained weight viewers as a whole were a lot more friendly and willing to watch my stream, now I have a health condition and I look pretty rough, I get virtually no views now.
Being the 'strong, silent type' only works if you are handsome. People don't want to explore if there is any depth to you if you're not aesthetically pleasing.
Bothering people who are reading. After years of sitting in coffee shops reading, I realized I was curt with anyone who tried to engage me in conversation, unless they were an attractive girl.
To give a somewhat serious answer, boasting of your prowess.
People are psychologically more inclined to believe someone good looking is skillfull at whatever they're claiming to good at, despite no evidence. In fact there's something called the 'halo effect' that says along with beauty come all sorts of other positive characteristics. We have a tendency to think beautiful people are funnier, more friendly, more intelligent, more exciting, in possession of better social skills, are sexually warmer, are more interesting, poised and even more independent.
Looking up someone's personal information so you can find them again. When you're ugly, you're stalking them. When you're hot, your being romantic. i.e. in Hitch, Will Smith tracks down where Eva Mendes worked and then sent a delivery guy there with to give her a wet suit in her exact measurements. He was being romantic... you would not be considered romantic.
Pretty much anything. I am an "occasionally" attractive man. I say this because I've been on both sides of the fence when it comes to getting preferential treatment... and feeling invisible. I grew up oblivious to my good fortune in the looks department. I was just me and didn't take myself too too seriously. I kept hearing from girls and (presumably) gay men that I was cute, hot, attractive, good-looking, etc. I was completely oblivious to this, I just thought I was a regular old guy with some good features and plenty of flaws. I seriously had no idea that everyone else didn't get treated the way I did. Girls my age would look at me at the mall and smile, clothing store employees (male and female) would compliment my eyes, women would approach me and chat me up on the street... a limo full of hot girls would say hi, and tell me the bar they were going to, etc, etc. It sounds like bragging, but I'm just trying to describe what my teens and early 20s were like. Now, fast forward 8 years and I'm 30 lbs overweight and a caricature of my former self. I feel invisible, as, people no longer want to meet me, or show me as much respect. I hit the gym hard and get fit again. I regain some semblance of my "old" life and get my mojo back. People are nicer to me again, hmm.
Are you ugly? Thousands of people ask this every day. It comes as no surprise then, to find out that one of the most popular questions entered into our search bars on our phones was ‘Am I ?’
In fact, if you type “am I” into Google, the first suggestion that is offered to you is “am I ugly?”
Attitudes towards appearance are one of the main reasons why people are being bullied. In fact, in Ditch the Label’s 2019 Annual Bullying Survey, 59% of young people said that their appearance was the reason they were bullied.
This is not a new question. Unobtainable beauty ideals have us questioning our self-worth, based on our appearance, on a daily basis probably since the beginning of humanity.
For example in Ancient Greece, beauty standards were that men had to be buff and glossy, while women were seen as most attractive when they had red hair and a fuller-figured body. While during Victorian times, a pale face with rosy cheeks was seen as the most ‘beautiful’. These ideals and standards have changed many times over the past 1000s of years.
In 2013, a YouTube trend emerged called “Am I Ugly or Pretty?” whereby, teen girls uploaded videos of themselves asking viewers exactly that. Following this, the internet answered the question in all its force and pulled no punches.
Even in 2020, these questions are often asked on places such as Instagram, Reddit and TikTok.
@davidpostman♬ original sound – sidthesciencedik
This question is one that matters and is something that nearly all of us will ask ourselves at some point during our lives.
So, let’s answer it!
Are you ugly or pretty?
Am I ugly because people keep saying it to me?
No, the danger is when you are called ugly enough times you start to believe it might be true.
Am I ugly because I’m single?
No, you are not single because you are ugly, and being in a relationship doesn’t make you beautiful.
Am I ugly because I keep thinking about it?
No, so please stop telling yourself you are, our thoughts very quickly become our reality.
Am I ugly because I was dumped?
No, you were NOT dumped because you are ugly, the relationship ended and that’s ok – give yourself some time and space to heal.
Am I ugly because I’m looking different?
No, your body is just changing and you are still growing into it.
Am I ugly because I have bad skin?
No, having bad skin does not make you unattractive and is totally normal.
Am I ugly because I don’t look as pretty as a model?
No, it’s ok to not look like a model. Turns out they are the only ones that do and they make up a teeny tiny amount of the population.
Am I ugly because I’m big?
No, your dress size does not determine your beauty, case in point: Tess Holiday.
Am I ugly because my friends keep saying so?
No, they are telling you that because they are scared that they aren’t good enough and have their own fears of being ugly, this doesn’t have to be your fear as well.
Am I ugly because I feel it?
No, your self-esteem has just gotten a little too low and needs rebuilding, have a look at our support guide for tips on how to begin rebuilding your self-confidence here.
Am I ugly compared to everyone else?
No, when we compare ourselves we always come off feeling worse, to compare is to despair so stop comparing.
Am I ugly because I am fat?
No, your weight is how much your body physically weighs full stop. Every single object, mineral, plant or animal on this planet has a weight. It is what we as humans equate with this number that forces us to connect beauty with weight. There is no such thing as a ‘beautiful weight’ or an ‘ugly weight.’ There is a healthy weight and that is different for everyone.
Am I ugly because I was rejected?
No, everyone experiences rejection in all its painful forms and it does not make you unattractive. Looking for ways to deal with rejection?
Am I ugly?
No, even if you have never ever felt anything but ugly your whole life right up until now that is still not proof that you are. Here’s the secret and I know because I am talking from experience, just like happiness it is all an inside job. So if you want to start changing how you feel we have some tips to help you start here.
If you aren’t feeling great about your appearance right now and need someone to talk to, Ditch the Label is here for you. Join our community and talk to us here.
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She knocked on the right door and entered. It was a large gym. It smelled of sweat and blood, clicks and blows of whips and whips were heard throughout the hall, alternating with groans and screams.